Interrogation Song Lyrics from Muppets Most Wanted



After settling their “who has the bigger badge” debate, Jean and Sam Eagle have a job to do. Figure out who’s been committing crimes…



Kermit, let’s begin

Describe the day you played Berlin


Constantine: We rehearsed and then we walked about

We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut


Jean: That night at ten o’ three

Were you inside the portrait gallery?


Constantine: From ten o’clock to ten o’ four

Was when we did the show encore


Sam: Hmm, Frog we’ve got our doubts

Can you confirm your whereabouts?


Constantine: My alibi is watertight

The audience saw me sing all night


Jean: Monsieur we know you did the crime


Constantine: I was on stage that whole time

Ask who sang “Rainbow Connection”


Sam and Jean: Thank you Kermit, no more questions



Hello, I think it’s time for good cop, romantic cop


Jean: Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside

Now’s your chance to save your hide


Miss Piggy: Gentlemen, I did not know

It’s a crime to steal the show


Sam: Tell us how the art was taken


Jean: If you want to save your bacon


Miss Piggy: I haven’t seen your missing art

All I’ve stolen is audience hearts


Sam: We can give you a plea deal


Jean: All you have to do is squeal


Miss Piggy: I’m not a thief, I don’t know how

All I’ve ever taken is a bow


Jean: We’ll catch the swine that did this job


Miss Piggy: Give up the pig puns, creep

Go jump in a lake, that’s my suggestion


Sam and Jean: Thank you Piggy, no more questions


Jean: I think she likes me


Sam: I don’t think your puns are helping the investigation


Jean: You know, I think they did it

Sam: No they didn’t

Jean: Yes they did, and we can pin it

Sam: If they did, how did they do it?

Jean: If they didn’t, how did they didn’t?

Sam: If they didn’t then it’s easy, ’cause they simply didn’t do it

Jean: If they did it, then I knew it, but we’ve nothing that can prove it


Jean: Oh, excuse me

Sam: Uh


Jean: Bring in the purple guy with the shnozz



Do you remember what you did

On the night you played Madrid?


Gonzo: I was hit by a raging bull

And rushed off stage to the hospital


Jean: Gonzo, what do you know

About the sculpture theft at Madrid’s Prado?


Gonzo: I never saw the stolen busts

I spent the night in bed concussed


Sam: The truth Gonzo, the clock is tickin’


Gonzo: If you don’t believe me, ask the chicken

Camilla was there, she’ll co-operate


Jean: Madam, are you willing to corroborate?


Camilla: Bawk bawk begawk, begawk gawk gawk


Sam: Will someone get this chicken out of here


Gonzo: Calm down Camilla, it’s a routine inspection


Sam and Jean: Thank you Gonzo, no more questions



Let’s go from the start

What do you know about the stolen art?


Lew Zealand: I didn’t know there was a plan


Floyd: Your accusation is far out man


Bunsen: The chances of us committing a crime

Are less than .009


Swedish Chef: Shern de shern de herf

Sher de chicky en de farney hug

Jean: To help with our investigation

Can you do a full translation?


Translator: What the chef just said to you
Was “Schnoop do schnnop do schnook”

It’s not Swedish


Animal: Aaaarghh!!!


Penguins: Wank wank wank


Fozzie: I can do an Elvis impression?


Sam and Jean: Thank you Muppets,  no more questions!


Jean: They didn’t

Sam: No, they didn’t

Jean: There’s no way they did the crime

Sam: They couldn’t they’re too stupid

Jean: They’re not criminal masterminds

Sam: We do not know who did it, but we know who didn’t do it

Sam and Jean: So we know who didn’t do it yes we know who didn’t do it


Jean: They’re incapable of being culpable!


These guys aren’t incapable of being culpable. In fact, this song was entirely their doing:

Performed by Ty Burrell, Sam Eagle and The Muppets

Music by Bret McKenzie

Lyrics by Bret McKenzie and Paul Roemen

Published by Fuzzy Muppet Songs (ASCAP)

Produced by Bret McKenzie and Mickey Petralia

Arranged by Chris Caswell

Orchestrations by Chris Caswell and Doug Walter

Vocals Recorded by David Bianco and Nick Wollage

Band Recorded by David Bianco

Orchestra Recorded by Satoshi Mark Noguchi

Mixed by Mickey Petralia and Satoshi Mark Noguchi

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