What Valentine’s Day is Like if You’re Single

Not to be a poor sport, but Valentine’s Day for a single lady or gentleman can be kind of a drag. It seems a bit trite to say so, but oh well, sometimes the truth hurts. For those of you who have been steadily taken for a while, you probably have no idea what we’re talking about. Must be nice. Reality check, here’s what being single on Valentine’s Day is all about.

 

First of all, sometime circa mid-January, the media, stores, Facebook, restaurants, and your inbox all begin to remind you that Valentine’s Day is nigh, which is also a reminder of your solo status.

Ariel from The Little Mermaid

 

You do the rational thing and try to put the holiday into perspective; it’s just an arbitrary day in February that the greeting card companies use to hock heart-shaped merch, right? Right.

Sad Emperor Kuzco

 

You’re able to convince yourself of this until February 14th nears and you realize that all of your friends have plans with their signifs and you will have nothing to do that day.

Fantasia

 

Once again, you convince yourself that this is fine. It’s fine. You’re fine.

Alice crying in Alice in Wonderland

 

Then you try to make the most of the day and hop on the bandwagon, send out funny valentines, bake cookies. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Magical baking in Sleeping Beauty

 

This technique works for the majority of the week leading up to 2/14. That is, until the dreaded day of which is punctuated with watching your coupled-up pals receive treats from people who actually “like them” like them. Going on dates, being all twitterpated and whatnot. Pshhhh.

Bambi and Feline

 

You wouldn’t mind flowers, why don’t you get flowers? Oh yeah, because you’re as solitary as an oyster (Muppets Christmas Carol reference).

The Mother Oyster from Alice in Wonderland

 

Maybe you hope your dad or other adult parental figure will splurge on a gift or some flowers for you, but that doesn’t always happen. Thanks, Dad, hint, hint.

King Triton from The Little Mermaid

 

You’re probably able to muster up a few friends to do something fun to distract you from your singleness, and here’s another truth bomb: this can actually be more fun than being stuck going to a fancy, overpriced dinner on some random day in February that has been assigned to represent romantic affection.

Snow White and the Dwarfs dancing

 

Whoa, wait, the game has changed. Jokes on all the couples, being single is great, because friends and no gift expectations. But in all seriousness – see you next year, Valentine’s Day. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Esmerelda crowd surfing

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