You know when you’re watching a movie and a character does something that’s such a bad idea or is so awesome that you just want to magically cross through the screen and talk to them? That’s not just us… right? Anyways, we have a few things to say to the following characters. We hope they’re listening. Disclaimer: We know that actually saying these things to said characters would totally ruin their movies. We are operating strictly in the realm of fantasy with this (and most other things, to be honest).
Abu: Put. the. ruby. down.
Really, Abu? Did you forget the whole don’t touch anything thing? You’re gonna give us a nervous breakdown unless you PUT THAT RUBY DOWN!
Snow White: Don’t take that apple.
The woman giving it you is a creepy stranger. Rule #784: Don’t take food from creepy strangers.
High School Musical Kids: (re: we’re all in this together) Yeah we are!
We’re all stars, and we see that.
Sam Eagle: You sir, are a national treasure.
Scar: Chill. out.
So you’re not king. You’ve still got it pretty good. Let’s take a few deep breaths and move on with our lives.
Pinocchio: Stop lying.
Please? Just stop. Your nose makes it pretty obvious whenever you do; we’re saying this to help you. No more lies, okay?
You are terrifying. We’re backing away and trying not to make eye contact.
Flounder: Just because you’re a guppy doesn’t mean you’re a guppy.
Guppy or not, we think you’re a pretty cool fish. So get out there and show the ocean how great you are!
Meeko: That is not your biscuit.
We know you’re super adorable, but John Smith has nothing else but those biscuits. Sure, they’re probably stale and gross, but we’re worried about him eating enough.
WALL•E: You’re not alone!
The tears! WALL•E, listen, we are here for you. We will be your friends!
Lady Tremaine: What is your problem?
So you’re a social climber, fine. But does your greed have no end? DOES IT HAVE NO END?!
Gaston: That is too many eggs.
Seriously, slow down. Also, have you ever considered chewing?
Nana: We feel you.
We’ve been there. Trying to arrange those alphabet blocks only to have Mr. Darling destroy all your hard work? Tragic. Just keep swimming, Nana.
Tod/Copper: Can we take you home with us?
Be cuter. Try.
Giselle: Please, please make us a dress.
We would gladly rock your sweet sweet Andalasian fashions.
Maleficent: Leave people alone.
You have a castle. Sure, it looks a bit drafty. But it’s still a castle. Are you really gonna let one forgotten party invitation get you down? You’re an evil sorceress, have some self-confidence.
Alice: Be you!
We understand that you’re trying to live up to everyone’s expectations, but the only ones that matter are your own. You are fabulous!
Flynn Rider: You’re in a Disney movie, so sing!
Get with the program, Flynn. In Disney movies, we sing. So let’s hear some singing!
Merlin: Teach us your packing ways.
You must be some sort of packing wizard. Literally. Also, do you pack apartments?
Sneezy: Bless you.
Times a million.
Phew! We feel a lot better after communicating our feelings to these characters. Got something you’ve always wanted to say to a Disney character? Comment below!