Internet, this is the day your dreams come true. Gaston has all of the answers to the questions you didn’t even know you had about how to live your life. Are you ready to become positively primeval with these life lessons?
Don’t bother with a book without pictures.
Take a girl to the tavern to check out your trophies. Thank us later.
Plan your surprise wedding BEFORE proposing. Girls love that.
Remind your lady-friend that other girls would kill to be in her shoes.
Take advantage of all available mirrors and reflective surfaces. Be polished at all times.
Give your lady the opportunity to rub your feet whenever possible.
Muscles. It’s all about the muscles.
Don’t forget that every guy in town would love to be you.
Chess isn’t worth an ounce of your valuable time.
Eat 5 dozen eggs a day. Can you say “roughly the size of a barge”?
Use antlers in all of your decorating.
Don’t think unless absolutely necessary. It’s a dangerous pastime.
Give people the chance to adore you.
If you follow these tips, everyone will be awed and inspired by you!