Interrogation Song Lyrics from Muppets Most Wanted

 


After settling their “who has the bigger badge” debate, Jean and Sam Eagle have a job to do. Figure out who’s been committing crimes…

 

Sam:

Kermit, let’s begin

Describe the day you played Berlin

 

Constantine: We rehearsed and then we walked about

We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut

 

Jean: That night at ten o’ three

Were you inside the portrait gallery?

 

Constantine: From ten o’clock to ten o’ four

Was when we did the show encore

 

Sam: Hmm, Frog we’ve got our doubts

Can you confirm your whereabouts?

 

Constantine: My alibi is watertight

The audience saw me sing all night

 

Jean: Monsieur we know you did the crime

 

Constantine: I was on stage that whole time

Ask who sang “Rainbow Connection”

 

Sam and Jean: Thank you Kermit, no more questions

 

Jean:

Hello, I think it’s time for good cop, romantic cop

 

Jean: Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside

Now’s your chance to save your hide

 

Miss Piggy: Gentlemen, I did not know

It’s a crime to steal the show

 

Sam: Tell us how the art was taken

 

Jean: If you want to save your bacon

 

Miss Piggy: I haven’t seen your missing art

All I’ve stolen is audience hearts

 

Sam: We can give you a plea deal

 

Jean: All you have to do is squeal

 

Miss Piggy: I’m not a thief, I don’t know how

All I’ve ever taken is a bow

 

Jean: We’ll catch the swine that did this job

 

Miss Piggy: Give up the pig puns, creep

Go jump in a lake, that’s my suggestion

 

Sam and Jean: Thank you Piggy, no more questions

 

Jean: I think she likes me

 

Sam: I don’t think your puns are helping the investigation

 

Jean: You know, I think they did it

Sam: No they didn’t

Jean: Yes they did, and we can pin it

Sam: If they did, how did they do it?

Jean: If they didn’t, how did they didn’t?

Sam: If they didn’t then it’s easy, ’cause they simply didn’t do it

Jean: If they did it, then I knew it, but we’ve nothing that can prove it

 

Jean: Oh, excuse me

Sam: Uh

 

Jean: Bring in the purple guy with the shnozz

 

Sam:

Do you remember what you did

On the night you played Madrid?

 

Gonzo: I was hit by a raging bull

And rushed off stage to the hospital

 

Jean: Gonzo, what do you know

About the sculpture theft at Madrid’s Prado?

 

Gonzo: I never saw the stolen busts

I spent the night in bed concussed

 

Sam: The truth Gonzo, the clock is tickin’

 

Gonzo: If you don’t believe me, ask the chicken

Camilla was there, she’ll co-operate

 

Jean: Madam, are you willing to corroborate?

 

Camilla: Bawk bawk begawk, begawk gawk gawk

 

Sam: Will someone get this chicken out of here

 

Gonzo: Calm down Camilla, it’s a routine inspection

 

Sam and Jean: Thank you Gonzo, no more questions

 

Jean:

Let’s go from the start

What do you know about the stolen art?

 

Lew Zealand: I didn’t know there was a plan

 

Floyd: Your accusation is far out man

 

Bunsen: The chances of us committing a crime

Are less than .009

 

Swedish Chef: Shern de shern de herf

Sher de chicky en de farney hug

Jean: To help with our investigation

Can you do a full translation?

 

Translator: What the chef just said to you
Was “Schnoop do schnnop do schnook”

It’s not Swedish

 

Animal: Aaaarghh!!!

 

Penguins: Wank wank wank

 

Fozzie: I can do an Elvis impression?

 

Sam and Jean: Thank you Muppets,  no more questions!

 

Jean: They didn’t

Sam: No, they didn’t

Jean: There’s no way they did the crime

Sam: They couldn’t they’re too stupid

Jean: They’re not criminal masterminds

Sam: We do not know who did it, but we know who didn’t do it

Sam and Jean: So we know who didn’t do it yes we know who didn’t do it

 

Jean: They’re incapable of being culpable!

 

These guys aren’t incapable of being culpable. In fact, this song was entirely their doing:

Performed by Ty Burrell, Sam Eagle and The Muppets

Music by Bret McKenzie

Lyrics by Bret McKenzie and Paul Roemen

Published by Fuzzy Muppet Songs (ASCAP)

Produced by Bret McKenzie and Mickey Petralia

Arranged by Chris Caswell

Orchestrations by Chris Caswell and Doug Walter

Vocals Recorded by David Bianco and Nick Wollage

Band Recorded by David Bianco

Orchestra Recorded by Satoshi Mark Noguchi

Mixed by Mickey Petralia and Satoshi Mark Noguchi

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